~ Daddy's New Adventure ~
For every child from a somewhat functional family, a fatherly love is pretty much something that you think you always have... but not every child knows how much he/she means to his/her father. At least, that was what happened to me. Earlier in January or February, I opened my personal inbox and browsed through it. What I found was my dad's short email from October 2009. It goes something like this...
Why you never answer my calls? I just wanted to ask you if you would be able to drive home through the big rain in Bangkok today. Drive home safely. I miss you.
After reading it, I cried for hours. I decided that no matter what I would not take my daddy (and mummy, too, of course). Still... I did. Work got in the way. Many times that I never made it to dinner with my parents because I tried to finish what I couldn't finish during the normal working hours. I kept thinking "this time would be my last time."... but it never was.
Then it came the day that I thought I had lost my dad. Last Saturday, my dad suffered from a stroke which left part of his brain damaged. Such damage did not make my daddy paralysed. Instead, he kind of loses his ability to communicate with us linguistically and occasionally forgets things and people. The cause was from his heart and his blood thickness. Normally, if a patient that suffers from this kind stroke is taken to hospital within the first three hours, the medication would work better. However, because my daddy works outside Bangkok and in Pattaya, he lives alone during weekdays and certain weekends. This particular Saturday, my daddy (from what he later tried to tell my mum) said he felt sick and could not feel his right leg... as if he had "lost it". By the time daddy was taken to hospital, it was more than 12 hours... I was told around noon on Sunday. It was late... but not too late. Thank god.
The first day is referred to as the "stinky ICU Day". This is because my dad refused to take off the clothes he came to hospital in. Another thing he refused to give up is his glasses. Dad tried so hard to tell every person he saw he was okay and he wanted to just go home. Apparently, dad was far from the "okay" he told everyone. He failed to talk to people. He could not remember his name or who he was. He only remembered me. Yes, that's right. Me... his only daughter. Mum said that even on the phone, he thought everyone he talked to was me. Even after feeling exhausted from the MRI and all the procedures, he asked me if I was hungry and where I would eat. That was when I realised that I don't care anymore what happened to me. I just need to be with daddy right now. I have to.
The second day (Monday)... daddy was moved to the normal ward on the 7th floor. His room is basically a seaview room with an enormous bathroom, a great little pantry, a two-sided closet and a free wifi. I had to go home to sort out things in Bangkok and dropped off the dirty clothes and get clean ones... and also to see my boyfriend who had been very supportive off to Phuket. It was the first time I was alone. I really felt so alone and so lost. The thought of not having the same dad that I had just really makes me feel like I am losing him.
Today is the third day of my daddy's new adventure to recovery. Dad made a fine progress. He said he should exercise and now want to run. It took my mum, nurses, doctors and myself to try to tell him that he should get well first. What a stubborn guy... kinda reminds me of myself... lol. He can remember things and people more. Still cannot remember his pin for the ATM... but it's ok. This takes time. He referred to apples as bananas, to my uncle as my mum, to pillows and blankets as something completely new to me, to crackers as sweets, etc. I'm beginning to think it is great to realize that words are really just words because when you actually try to understand someone, it doesn't matter that much. I still love you, daddy. I know you get me. :) Anyway, I have to go put him to sleep. He still wanna watch telly as he wanna know what goes on with Red Shirt and the government. Whatever... he needs to rest. I'll come back to rant more on this later.
If you have read this far, thank you. I appreciate you reading another bump in my life. :) I wish you will not take the time you have with your parents and loved ones for granted. Actually do everything you can not to waste your precious time with them. Once it's all behind you, you will not regret it. Trust me. I know. :)